March 12, 2006: Sunday - “God, Our Father, Hear Us Pray”

Stake President Walker and company came for our annual ward conference today. For our sacrament (communion) hymn #170 we sang, "God, Our Father, Hear Us Pray." Nothing prepared me for the emotion I felt as the second verse opened. "Grant us, Oh Lord, grace divine." Tears began to stream down my face. This desire was so close to my heart as Rex and I were again fasting for the best possible outcome to happen and Friday, the scheduled day for the lumpectomy was coming up fast.

Pres. Walker gave a very good talk as he always does. At the conclusion, Pres. Walker said something to the effect that when a person sincerely prays and has faith, Heavenly Father always answers their prayers. I felt like he was speaking directly to me.

After church, I was asked if I wanted a blessing. I accepted and asked Pres. Walker to be the voice for the blessing that would come from Heavenly Father. He agreed. Before beginning, he asked me, "Sister James, how is your faith?"

The blessing was beautiful. I tried to listen very carefully for phrases that, beyond all doubt, would tell me what the outcome would be on Friday. From what I heard and remember, it did not tell me what I wanted to hear. However, it repeated several things said in other blessings, in particular the blessing of angels to be near/with me during this time of trial. It said that I would yet go through a test of faith. Most remarkably, it specifically addressed two paragraphs I'd written in my 'letter to God.' I thought to myself, "It's almost as if Pres. Walker’s read that letter!" and yet I knew he hadn't. Of two paragraphs in my ‘letter’ 1) clearly defined what I wished would happen re: surgery and therapy and 2) why I was asking for that specific blessing. I believed what the blessing I now received was open to more than one interpretation. When I returned home from church, I went through a couple of soul-searching hours while reviewing today’s blessing.

When Rex came home from his stake meeting about 9 PM, I asked him what he remembered from the blessing. He said that the phrase that struck him and stayed with him was that my body would be 'rid of the cancer.' He had the impression that that meant that whatever happened at the time of the operation; I would not have any cancer thereafter. (So, no radiation!)

Good news!