Preliminary to creating the hypnosis cd, Dr. H... talked with me about fighting for my life. He said, “There are two kinds of cancer patients: those that live and those that die. Those that live do so because they fight for their life with everything they are worth.” There followed an intense discussion for I didn’t have a fighting, angry spirit about this affliction. I am not angry: as reflected in my visit to the temple on Feb. 14th, I see this as an ordeal I’m supposed to go through for my greater good. I have adopted the attitude that if in the future, I’m going to look back upon these few months of life and say, “I gained so many blessings from it” – then I’m going to look at it from that positive perspective in the here and now and gratefully acknowledge each blessing that comes my way. How can I be the kind of angry that Dr. H… is talking about?
Then I thought about my ‘representative,’ Capt. Moroni, a military general, in charge of all the Nephite army. How could he, such a good and righteous man, go into battle and kill people? Dr. H… and I talked about Jesus’ righteous anger in the temple when he destroyed the moneychanger’s tables, etc. So, there is righteous anger – I just need to find mine somehow.
Dr. H… read what I’d written for him to be able to get a feel for Capt. Moroni’s character and what I wanted to envision happening. He used some of it in the ‘journey’ but not a whole lot. He made use of Moroni’s battle flag by having its color wash through my body. The color I saw was a deep teal blue. Why that color? Subconsciously, I’d chosen a hue that is a harmonious mix of Heaven’s blue and Earth’s green.
The flag’s purpose was to fill my body starting up from the toes and cleansing it from harmful particles. When it got to my breast, it called upon all of its army to come and attack the invader: containing it first and crushing it to dust in the outstretched hand of my mind. Then the color was to go through and eradicate any stray left over particles. The cd mentioned the strength that is so much a part of me for my family: both what I receive from them and what motivates me into action for them. It is interesting that the cd went back and forth with scenes: it then had me envision being in the presence of the Savior and him removing the cancer from my body. It finished by requesting I bring up from my subconscious something I need to remember, something I’d forgotten. As I searched, I saw myself – not as I see myself, but as Heavenly Father sees me: whole, complete, strong, compassionate, and serene – all at the same time. It was … breathtaking.
No comments:
Post a Comment